Tag Archives: psyche

Additional thoughts on solstice 2018

After my customary seasonal post – written sporadically with two young children around my feet – I realised there were a small few areas that I’d failed to address or things I’d not looked at.

Now, due to my strict policy that publications are final, I thought it wise to revisit said omissions and elaborate. That and I haven’t got anything else to talk about at the moment…

Is Goal: 8a dead already?!

A few months back, I started an initiative called Goal: 8a, which was intended to focus my energy and motivation to climbing the next big grade and my next big milestone.

Yet despite the profile it received at the time, when it came to writing my next season’s goals, this blindingly obvious one totally slipped my mind. So the obvious question (and the one that immediately went through my head when I realised a couple of days after publishing) is surely: is Goal: 8a dead already?

The simple and instant answer is no. Context is important here and with a newborn baby now on the scene, it is simply not a sensible objective.

I’ve read a bit about flow by Mihalyhi Csikszentmihalyhi recently and one of the crucial factors in achieving this is the challenge-skill balance. It turns out, the CS balance is important simply for motivation, not just for achieving flow and with that in mind, 8a falls far outside my current abilities.

The one crucial thing with Goal: 8a is that it was always going to be a long term idea. I’m hoping, if all goes well, to achieve this in spring 2020 and certainly not expecting to be ready next year. Instead, this winter is about getting back to full strength and next summer about putting it into practice. In that regard, leaving it off the list was the right thing to do.

Will there be a resurgence of #babyatthecrag

When Rosie was born, we decided to share Em’s maternity leave between us and while she maintained 9 months of leave in total, I took three months off work.

During that time, I was keen to champion the idea that having children doesn’t necessarily stop anyone from doing what they want to do (not entirely at least) and went on a three-month spree of days out, with photos and articles, using the hash tag #babyatthecrag.

It was very successful and popular and showed that it is possible to keep climbing with a newborn in tow.

Now that we have little Hannah along, will there be a resurgence of #babyatthecrag? Simply put, probably not.

Hannah isn’t the problem, although timing is critical and she should be past the crawling stage by our time off where Rosie wasn’t. Indeed, it is more likely Rosie who will put the brakes on any activities.

By next summer, she will be age 2 and any parent will attest to how difficult this stage is. She’s already started and I would expect to use #tryingtimeswithtoddlers more than anything else…

The other large issue is my masters degree. While I can take some time off my studies to raise a child – and happily will – going climbing probably doesn’t qualify. It may work out, only time will tell but I’m not optimistic.

Nor do I mind too much. Three months with Rosie was a long time and while I got out and made my point, there was still plenty of time to just be with her. Reduce that by a third and I’m not sure it’s worth it; I’d rather concentrate on being with my daughter. Again, we’ll see.

Initial stats: the first 100 problems of this year’s indy aggregate

From the first 99 numbered problems, I have dropped 17 so far. This is of course at time of writing and while, on finding out they’re stripping some tomorrow, I had to go back in and put twenty minutes into a tricky 6c+ I’d been avoiding earlier this evening, there is time to tick off some more.

That said, seven of the remaining problems are 7c or above and these I’m not expecting to get, given the sparse nature of my sessions and the regularity of the setting.

Still, that leaves 4 x 7a/+ and 6 x 7b/+ that should, in theory, leave me with a chance of hitting the 85% I’d set myself. I should at least get a couple of these and hopefully more, leaving a buffer for later in the season.

Granted, this is a tougher set than usual and I’m not likely to be able to skip climbs just because I don’t like them, as with other years. But so far, the target seems a sensible and attainable one.

Prowess Coaching Moving Forward

Finally, i’d like to mention the latest steps forward with my coaching business. I have now actually paid for a proper domain name for the website: prowesscoaching.co.uk and would greatly appreciate anyone reading to share as much as possible.

Business cards and posters are going up soon and hopefully, it won’t be long before i have some clients to teach! Here’s hoping the New Year will bring a new approach to life at the climbing wall for me!

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Solstice: October 2018

For those who don’t know, my new year runs from when the clocks go forward, giving a much better point of the year for resolutions and goal setting. There is also a Solstice when the clocks go back. For more information, click here.

I was slightly concerned I would struggle to find time to write this post this year but ironically, one of the reasons for that has freed me up just enough: on Sunday 21st October, our second daughter finally arrived.

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At the start of last year, people would tell me my life was about to change completely; that any hopes of carrying on my old dreams and ambitions would be dashed now there was a little girl about to take centre stage. Paradoxically, they were so right and so wrong at the same time. We couldn't ask for a better child than Rosie and having her join us has made it a totally different adventure in of itself. And now, we've done it again. I couldn't be happier than having little Hannah to join our fun. To come along on our family adventure. Just as before, nothing stops, and now there are three of us to show this little one just how incredible life can be. The adventure hasn't stopped, it's just getting started. Welcome aboard, Hannah Ellen Edwards.

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She is tiny and wonderful and our eldest, Rosie, is very taken with her. The downside is it’s meant Rosie is getting a lot of daddy-daughter time that looks very likely to continue for quite some time. I’m not complaining at having time with Rosie, but it is exhausting spending all my time with Rosie. Toddlers are hard work sometimes!

I am very fortunate to have both a partner and a daughter who have been incredibly supportive and accommodating to my climbing to date; our trips to Glendalough and Fontainebleau aren’t the type of thing you’d normally do with a young child in tow!

Nevertheless, this first week has seen showering and sleeping hard to fit in at times so I’m under no illusions this season will be the one I crack a new grade. Throw in all the other commitments I’ve currently got and I’m climbing terms alone, this will likely be the hardest season I’ve ever had.

2018 Spring/Summer Review

As usual, we now turn to the most challenging part of this post: remembering. At the best of times lately, my mind has been all over the place and having a newborn thrown headlong into the mix hasn’t helped with that! On a course on Friday, i introduced myself with “my second daughter was born last Sunday morning and i’ve since forgotten my name…”

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Finally, after probably about ten years of waiting, James Pond was possible after the longest dry spell I remember meant you didn't need wellies to get to the start… What a session that turned out to be: a 7a flash, a 7b/+ tick and a host of other excellent #bouldering that I'd honestly never done before. I've been waiting a long time for this and save for attack of the midge, might have had just enough left in me for #jamespond sit start too. What's more, you really can't argue with the setting (proximity to the road notwithstanding) – not many places you get to climb under the shadow of #dinascromlech And #dinasmot! #cromlech #cromlechboulders #worldclasswales #snowdonianationalpark #snowdon #northwales #northwalesbouldering #rockclimbing #escalade #escalada #grimpeur #climbing #climbing_is_my_passion #climbing_lovers #climbing_pictures_of_instagram #meclimbing

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The big, stand out, headline event since last March (second child notwithstanding) has been the Masters degree that started in June and quickly gained momentum. Granted, when i first began, i was totally clueless and it took a little while to realise if i didn’t know something, it was up to me to find it out. Similarly, digging out the right resources and finding the right places to find the right info was a steep learning curve. Four months in and my second assignment will hopefully result in a top-class document.

What’s more, the degree has opened my eyes vis a vis my coaching. More models have been developed and put into practice, working quite nicely. My usual Friday night coaching group shuts down over the summer holidays but since we’ve come back the ideas i’ve developed seem to be effective and helpful.

Of course all of this coaching relied on achiveing some sort of qualification and for years now, i’ve been targeting my SPA. After missing out narrowly on passing the assessment, i opted to try and go around the problem, at least temporarily, and go for my CWA instead.

The CWA – or Climbing Wall Award, now called the Climbing Wall Instructor (CWI) – was primarily an attempt to offer some standardised accreditation for those working in the indoor environment. As such, those on the course are often people working in a climbing wall on taster sessions and birthday parties. I did that work a very long time ago and am now in a very different place so applied for, and got, exemption from the training. Cue one slightly nerving assessment after some last-minute cramming into what exactly i was going to be tested on.

It worked and i passed. What was instantly a huge relief to have this monkey finally off my back suddenly turned into the realisation i have now opened myself up to a shed load more work. Time to go be a coach… almost. There are plenty of hurdles still to overcome.

This site’s sister website, Prowess Climbing Coaching, was adjusted to match this one and a lot of the old articles relating to coaching were moved across. I looked into the particulars of setting up a new business and (please do correct me if i’m wrong) as a sole trader, there is no need for me to do anything other than start trading! PCC is now open for business, save for a couple of hurdles that will be tackled once i have my first client. Please have a look at the website and share with anyone who might be interested.

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Two things are happening here: first, I'm #training to utilise my #core more and keep my feet on. As you can see, more work needs to happen and when they do cut loose, I need to be more accurate getting them back on. But this is easier to see with the second thing: in #experimenting with #slowmotion #analysis to better understand my flaws, they become much more obvious. Yes you can see that poor foot placement in real time but it's so much easier to see when slowed down. It really is a fantastic tool and something I'll be using a lot more in the near future. Oh there's a third lesson: put your camera in a sensible place! I guess that's the pay off with the #phonewedgedinshoe method of filming yourself… #coaching #coach #learning #bouldering #rockclimbing #climbing #climbing_photos_of_instagram #climbinglife #climbing_is_my_passion

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All of this has kind of overshadowed any personal climbing to the extent i don’t actually remember much! Which is a bit ridiculous now i’ve looked it up.

The season started, aptly, with an ascent of Regeneration 7b after dismissing Andy’s assessment of Gallt yr Ogof and going for another look. The boulder is awesome, suits me perfectly and that day really set up the rest of the year.

I finally got into the Aberglaslyn to Supercrack 7a and sent Dog Crack 7b with remarkable ease. The spring dry spell made it an ideal venue – i was hoping that would happen one day!

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Apologies for the poor quality video, I blame the midges – they were, after all, what drove us away! Not before @lil_lewis_climber nailed #Supercrack 7a with the most committing heel hook I've seen in years and inexplicably, I also ticked off the link in from the right, Dog Crack 7b. Shocked as that wasn't the line I wanted to try at all but I couldn't be bothered to keep shuffling the pads under Super Has 7b. Was far too hot for the crux sloper anyway. Then, quickly, on the way home, we stopped at the cromlech boulders and I got Leo's Dyno 7a+ on the second go! Not a bad evening, all told. #worldclasswales #northwales #snowdonia #northwalesbouldering #bouldering #boulderingisbetter #bouldering_pictures_of_instagram #sport #rockclimbing #escalade #escalada #climbing #climbing_is_my_passion #climbing_pictures_of_instagram

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The same could be said of my time under the James Pond roof. Ten years i’d been thinking of heading under there, only for every attempt to be put off by the pond the name implies. This year, the spring kicked in, everything dried up and i made several special efforts to get down there.

It paid off. James Pond 7a was finally sent on the first go no less. I must admit to a bit of sadness that after all this time, it only took one attempt but Bog Pond 7a+ followed in the same session. What’s more, the slightly easier variant of the sit start went too. The original 7b+ sit start would follow a month later.

Around the time i sent the hardest line this year, i also had a visit from one of my best friends, Simon. As the years tick on, the longer the gaps between seeing friends can go but for the best friends, it matters not. It was only a week but i am so glad we managed to sneak in a few sessions at old favourites, and to chew the fat and catch up. It’s never enough but every session is a treat.

In that interim was our trip to Germany. In climbing terms, it was pretty good but that wasn’t what i was thinking of on the drive south. Even the Birthday Tradition continuing into it’s ninth year was overshadowed this time around. With no children and even no Tess in tow, Em and myself found ourselves on a German mountainside where i proposed. We are now officially engaged.

2018 Spring/Summer Goals

  • Go to Germany
  • Start the Masters degree and REALLY work at it
  • Be more productive with my time
  • Actually train, don’t just boulder. 1 in 5 sessions
  • At least one weekend away climbing without the family

Well, that turned out to be a good little list! We went to Germany, carried on the Birthday Tradition for another year and threw in an engagement for fun.

As said, the Masters is driving along like a bullet train and so far, all is going very well. What’s more, i haven’t been this enthused about something for years. I am totally and utterly loving it. Big tick in that box.

As predicted, an Autumn trip was out of the question and this was reflected in the goal of having a weekend to myself. Despite desperate attempts to go to the Lake District, the weather Gods stepped in and sent Lewis and myself east instead.

It was a good little weekend, despite dodging rain and indecision and saw us hit no less than five crags in two days. My idea for a video of Seven 7s will have to wait for another time; this one was just about being happy and being away and in that, was another huge success.

“Be more productive…” was too vague a goal and failed to be anything to work to. Meanwhile, the idea of 1 in 5 training is admirable but not suited to the outdoor season in the summer and one i will move to this coming season instead.

2018 Year-long goals

  • SPA completed (yet again)
  • Try and match Top Ten Yearly Average of 7a+
  • Make big strides into Masters Degree
  • Don’t drop any potential climbs during the Aggregate

That SPA is circumvented, for now, but needs to be kept in the back of my mind. Outside climbing is now a chilly challenge and putting the effort in for that one over the winter is setting myself up for a fail so it’ll wait for the Spring now.

Not dropping any potential climbs during the Aggregate most likely referred to last winter – truth be told, i don’t remember and can’t be bothered to look it up – but my final position was a lofty 3rd! However, it is worth noting that the margin to 4th was 94 points so it’s not such a great achievement. Throw in all the other categories and i dropped to 6th.

This season will be when i adjust the Long Term Athlete Development Model for myself. One of the latter stages is Train to Win, which obviously requires an element of competition and in the Aggregate in its usual guise, that’s fine. This time around though, i’m not bothered about comparing my scores to anyone else and thus am swapping that stage for Train to Complete. For me, now, the competition is against the climbs and i’m hoping to drag my sorry self up as many as i can.

2018 Autumn/Winter Goals

The business end of the lengthy bi-annual post.

  • Climb. A bit. If Possible
  • Coach. A lot. And earn some money from it
  • Learn. A hell of a lot. And keep the pace with the Masters
  • Train. 1 in 5 sessions
  • Complete 85% of the aggregate
  • A trip away without the family in the Spring

While time off with Rosie i could be pretty confident i could fight my way through and keep climbing with her around. Now, she’s at that stage in between being safe to leave to herself and being able to understand boundaries. Then of course, there’s Hannah as well. Simply put, if i have the kids as well, climbing isn’t possible. Not this season anyway.

Available time is a major issue too and other parts of my life MUST take priority, ESPECIALLY this season. That means my focus has to be elsewhere for a while. It’s a shame but to be honest, not the worst timing given my lofty enthusiasm of the last few years is waning ever so slightly.

Critically, the word now is maintain. Come spring, we’ll re-assess and go again. By that point, we should be ready to step it back up again.

Merry Solstice!

 

Rounding off on Slopers

I thought i’d posted this and have just come to give the latest update in my life when i suddenly realised it wasn’t published… Originally written on the 19th September

 

It is now Wednesday and while the ache in my shoulders has now finally subsided – putting my down jacket on yesterday was still causing me to wince slightly – it has been replaced by tiredness after a long night of dealing with a sleepless 18-month old. It seems my little weekend trip is now most definitely over.

Once you come back from something like that, it’s inevitable to be asked how it went and i’m not entirely sure how to answer this time. Even two days on the grit, people are interested and in the past i’ve been known to judge my time away by the sends i’ve come back with. This time, that leaves me a little disappointed.

I had become very focused on the idea of Seven 7s on film and as i mentioned in my last post, once we’d lost the Friday it was an unlikely and tall order. The experience on Gorilla Warefare and Early Doors had left me slightly dejected but a quick send of Kiss Me Arsee 7a at Birchen late on the Saturday had renewed hope.

Again, i was left in the balance come rise on Sunday: the tents were sheltered and dry but a glance across to the next field could show driving drizzle. Not bad enough conditions to simply give up but not good enough to drive psyche.

So we did what all good Brits do in these conditions: we went for a sandwich and a cup of tea. Pack up reasonably efficiently, drive north, first to Calver and then on to the familiar Outside in Hathersage. In the time it took to eat and drink (and begin a conversation about Bob Dylan that would last two days) the ground had dried up enough to get us going. We were now psyched, despite Lewis’s fingertips so thin they were almost leaking plasma.

I’d prompted us in the direction of Cratcliffe, as i was keen for both Jerry’s Problem 7b and T Crack 7b and i thought the shelter may help us in getting something done. One or both of those problems would almost definitely make the weekend a success, especially if i could capture it on film!

On the way, though, the weather turned again. Little rain began to fall on the windscreen and i realised it was drier further north, where we’d just come from. A session at a crag we weren’t as keen for would be better than nothing at a crag we weren’t so the sensible option was to turn around and find somewhere nearer Hathersage, where there was no liquid falling out of the sky.

Yet. After so much faffing – in hindsight at least – we eventually arrived at the good old Suprise View car park with a view to hit up Millstone, only to look across the valley and see the familiar drizzle we’d been running away from had found us. Damn you, weather gods.

I figured shelter was what was now needed and so, as i have done many times before, we made the short slog into Secret Garden. I enacted my revenge on Lewis for his bushwacking exploits of the day before, unintentionally mind, as we ploughed through ferns taller then me, let alone my companion and eventually stumbled across the small scar that i’d first visited back in my undergrad days, all those many years ago.

Beachball 7a fit the bill for my plans and has been on my radar for very many years but alas, there was just not enough energy left in the tank. Much as with Early Doors i couldn’t have been closer without getting the tick, i was that close but that problem has thwarted me time and again. Everything else followed suit.

Looking back, the indecision of the weekend certainly contributed to our poor return in terms of climbs and the remarkably large amount of walking definitely didn’t help with overall fitness levels. Our pads were heavy and uncomfortable over such distances and it sapped the life out of me, the straps digging into my collarbones. In retrospect, having a more definitive plan and sticking to it would’ve probably yielded more success.

And that, right there, has probably tipped the balance on the verdict for the weekend. Poor trips are part of climbing, we have bad days and in turn, they contribute to make the good ones all the better. Being able to learn from that is what makes us better climbers, nay better people, in the long run.

 

A huge thanks to Lewis for coming along and putting up with me for the weekend! Here’s looking forward to many more in the future. 

Burgered and Broken

With burgers in our bellies and Climb On now covering our fingertips, both my companion for the weekend – who, Mr annoying man at Frogatt is neither my son nor am i his “chaffeur” – and i are throughly wiped out after a day that saw us at three separate crags. Sadly, though, despite this valiant effort, my goal of Seven 7s on film now looks increasingly unlikely.

You’ll recall from my last post that we were hoping to head to the Lakes for this weekend but as i woke on Friday morning, i checked the forecast and instantly wrote it off: apololyptic rain and climbing don’t mix and no amount of wishful thinking was going to get us anywhere with this one.

So the decision was quickly made to head east and a surly disposition soon followed. Every time i try and go to the Lakes, i get rained off. Every fucking time.

What made it slightly worse was the relentless drizzle we found ourselves taking with us from North Wales right to the campsite. We ran into Ben Brandsby in Outside in Hathersage – a friend of little Lewis, who introduced me – and at one point, his reply to the question of where would be dry was “The Works will be dry…”

We found a nice site near our intended crags, pitched camp and went shopping for food. Still the drizzle fell and soon nightfall with it and with that, we found ourselves in the local pub, me nearly falling out a couple of pints, hours and a hefty pudding later.

At this point, the idea of filming us completing Seven 7s and compiling a short movie was unlikely but i was undeterred and this morning, after a bit of a lie in, we awoke and i chatted with a woman for whom a tin-foil hat would’ve been entirely appropriate – “you’re not Jewish are you?” she asked me while watching me eat a bacon sandwich before railing on our collective decision to poison our bodies with meat and wheat and pretty much anything else! Soon we were heading for the quick-drying Curbar.

Trackside was my very first 7a back in April 2006 and for a little while, i’ve wanted to repeat it. It seemed fitting now was the chance, with another huge life-change just around the corner. Lewis ticked it first (today that is, he was five back when i got it the first time) while i eagerly filmed from a distance. Then it was my turn, along with pretty much anyone else who was passing. I’ve been flashing 7a outside lately but the retro flash most certainly didn’t and after the first attempt, i was clutching my thigh before i even hit the ground, cursing my aging and creaking body. It’s still sore nearly 12 hours later.

Still, a repeat did indeed follow, as well as a stunning photo of a new friend:

Feeling buoyed, we headed up slightly to finish off an old project line, Gorilla Warefare 7a. I’d set up the tripod before i set up the pad and quickly realised the reason i’ve always been put off is the large rock right underneath the finish. However, a more direct finish, Early Doors 7a+ avoids this and was now well within my capabilities. Or at least i thought.

I’m not sure if i bottled it or ran out of juice, i’ll have to watch the video, but in my experience, if you’re asking that question, you could’ve finished it if you really wanted to. Sadly, either way, it was not to be and with that went our last realistic chance of Seven 7s in a weekend.

We packed up, bickered slightly about the route ahead before Lewis led us across a non-path through chest high bracken and seriously broken ground and i got the hump. We traversed the bottom of Curbar crag, missed the path we were looking for and before we knew it, were at Froggatt.

I wasn’t really that inspired by the routes Lewis not aptly threw himself at, never really being sold on crag problems that finish half-way up the wall and still grumbling internally at being led somewhere like this without any discussion. Still, it’s his trip too and it was only fair to let him crack on. Eventually i wandered off to see if i could see something that did insprire me nearby.

What i saw didn’t inspire anything other than hurry. The Peak District is a laregly flat (remember where i’m from) area that allows for a lot of vision for miles around and a few miles away, you could make out the rain falling from a very dark sky. Suddenly very conscious of quite how far from the sanctuary of our vehicle we were, i wasn’t about to suggest we started on a different problem; i was suggesting we quickly run away.

Lewis finished up nicely and we packed up and took another beeline back to Curbar. We still didn’t find that elusive path and made an impromptu descent down some more sketchy and broken ground with more bushwacking, this time with rain gently falling on us from above.

Still we made it to the car largely dry and unscathed and with the sky now clearing. It was only 5:30 and that offered either a very long evening of not a lot or a chance to get another crag in. We opted for the latter.

I thought the walk in to Birchen was shorter than it is but it is quite easy and largely flat. Annoyingly the problem i had in mind was at the far end of the crag and after a gut busting route march, we made it.

Kiss Me Arsee 7a didn’t give up easy and manages to hide her beta well. What’s more, with a whopping 1 seven filmed so far, the camera battery died and we were left with a mobile phone instead; oh well. That largely didn’t matter as i seemed to inexplicably stick two very slappy moves to slopers and soon found myself topping out my second 7 of the day.

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After a long trudge across the top of Curbar to Froggatt, where @lil_lewis_climber made some nice repeats of old classics (#photo coming soon) we made a hasty retreat, watching some ominous black clouds heading our way. But while we did get rained on a little, it really wasn't much and was still early when we got back to the truck. So we made an equally hasty beeline for #birchenedge and this little beauty: Kiss Me Arsee 7a. I've been flashing 7a back home but this was a fight and she didn't give away her beta easy. Still, there was just about enough juice in the tank for one last and off the day #peak #peakbouldering #bouldering #bouldering_pictures_of_instagram #grimpeur #escalada #escalade #climbing #climbing_photos_of_instagram #climbinglife #climbing_is_my_passion #weekendaway Thanks to @lil_lewis_climber for the photo

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And that brings us to now: sitting quietly in my tent while Lewis is crashed out in the tent next door, exhausted from our day’s exploits, sat on my laptop, bloggin away happily. I did marvel for a moment about how far technology has come, that i can connect my computer to the internet in a tent in the middle of nowhere, until i remembered i did this up an almost uninhabited Alpine valley back in 2010* . Still, my tent has an electric hookup this time. Funny how things move on.

 

(*may not have had internet through my phone, may have just written it and posted it later, too long ago, can’t remember but i’ve DEFINITELY done this before in a tent somewhere.)

Motivations

A glorious day was Wednesday last week, not a cloud in the sky, the rock dry as anything and what did i do? I drove fourteen miles and paid £5 to go swimming in an indoor pool.

Every instinct told me i had other, better options. Tess couldn’t come with me, surely going outside would be better. The pass is closer to my house than the nearest swimming pool, it would be quicker. It’s not going to stay dry like this much longer, make the most! Even training in the mill or the Indy would be better strength gain. And still, despite all of these thoughts swimming around my head, swimming was all i could think of. I had to go.

It seems an unknown fact that i used to swim competitively; albeit not at a great standard. I swam on the Masters circuit – not typically a home for the youth of today and while i won a large stack of medals in every colour, that was often as i was the only swimmer in my age group…

Still, for a couple of years, i swam, got strong and found myself in the upper echelons of my local club, often swimming in the fast lane and competing around the country. In 2012, i competed in around half a dozen towns and cities in the UK.

Then, for various reasons including time commitments and apathy, it tailed off and i stopped swimming as much and got back on the wall. The competitions waned and i stopped training, to the point that by the time Rosie arrived, i’d pretty much stopped altogether. Lately, that desire to feel the water encompass my body has been coming back.

And so it transpired that on the perfect day for outdoor bouldering and with a suitable project in mind, not to mention the work that needed doing that i was aptly avoiding, i sacked it all off and found myself with more headwear than clothing on poolside, thrilled at what i was about to do and pondering coaching and participation motivation.

I’d already come up with the idea that i could call my swim “cross training” but even as i thought it, i knew it was an excuse. Still, it’s not wrong and swimming – i mean goggles, swim hat, head down and put some effort in here, not a breast-stroke pootle keeping your hair dry – compliments climbing superbly. Back in the day,  a few swimming sessions would allow my fingers to recover, for example, but wouldn’t let my shoulders become weaker. In fact, it made them stronger and developed antagonists really well.

Do what you want

Not that cross training made any difference on Wednesday: the simple fact was that i wanted to go swimming and with that, it was instantly the most productive thing i could’ve done. Motivation is a major driver for participation.

The fact is there is no point trying to force yourself to do something that you’re not entirely invested in. You’ve got to want to do it.

Granted, sometimes, when it comes to training, you have to really want to but even then, if you don’t want to bother, you’re never going to give it your all. In this case, i was going to gain more going for a swim that i was psyched for than a climb that i couldn’t really be bothered with.

Motivations for participation (sorry for the buzz-phrase) are heavily investigated in academic circles and a major question for many outdoor pursuits centres. After all, it’s important to understand why people actually want to go climbing, for example, so they can tailor their offer to maximise the amount of people they appeal to. However, on a personal level, the message is simple: do what you actually want to do. Most of the time at least.

Time away

All this being said, i’m not about to ditch my rock boots in favour of goggles any time soon; far from it! In fact, i’ve been keeping a wary eye on this weekend for what will hopefully a hugely enthusiastic trip away from home.

The destination in mind is most definitely the Lake District and i am absolutely stoked for it. I’ve been printing off topos, watching videos online and even making lists of kit needed for the weekend. It will be my first trip without Em since Spring 2016 and while i will undoubtedly miss her terribly, and i’ve loved having her company on our adventures, i am really looking forward to some time away to crank hard on some unfamiliar boulders.

It will surely be my last excursion for quite some time, too, with our second child expected at the end of next month.

Not that the planning has been plane sailing. Recruitment has once again proven tricksome, not helped by a poor forecast. It’s also led to a dilemna: there is more rain forecast in the Lakes than in the Peak or Yorkshire. But there is more chance of finding something to climb on the steep grab and pull of Cumbria.

So, do we head where the weather is likely worse with possibly better options in the West, or try and play it safe but risk having nothing at all to go at in the East? I leave in the morning and still haven’t comletely made up my mind.

The current plan is the Lake District, both as crags like the Bowderstone both retain dry lines after rain and the psyche level is higher. Still that may change by the end of the M56. Tomorrow, we find out.

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All thoughts at the moment have turned to next weekend and an upcoming trip to the #lakedistrict. So I've searched through my archives and this is about the only picture I can find that is even remotely related to the #bouldering to be found there at I have! This is a shot of the #langdaleboulders from 2012 and possibly the last time I touched rock in this #beautiful corner of #England. There is a host of amazing #rockclimbing to be found there at over hitherto neglected in favour of the same old places so this time, I am definitely keen for new venues. Currently the forecast isn't looking that promising but such is the desire to get to crags like the bowderstone that we may just go anyway and hope for the best. #lakesbouldering @greg_lakesbloc #climbing #climbing_photos_of_instagram #scenary #mountains #outdoors

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Back in the Swing Of Things

And with that little revelation, normal service is resumed. I hadn’t climbed since that poor session at Plas y Brenin a fortnight ago until last night when i headed back to the Indy.

I certainly wasn’t any stronger, although possibly more rested. To be honest, on my way i wasn’t any more psyched, particularly, merely armed with the knowledge that confidence breeds competence. My technique wasn’t any better and to be honest, my tactics remained largely unadjusted. The only difference was that epiphany.

It is remarkable what a difference a subtle change in attitude can do. I finished my session with a 7b retro flash, of a problem i had almost managed last time, tickling the top before plummeting in what i now think may have been more ammunition for my self-perpetuating downward spiral. This time, it fell first time during the warm up. Next, another 7b that suited me perfectly, on Jenga blocks; it fell quickly and in good style.

A break, that lasted a little longer than i intended preceded that send and after, i was looking for another to try. A friend offered up the project he was trying for me to have a go and, unexpectedly, i flashed it. I hate doing that and wouldn’t do it deliberately, sometimes that’s the way it goes. It did turn out to be useful for him, as my beta on the lower section avoided him using a knee that was causing him pain.

I tried a couple of other problems without ever getting going, flashed a 7a+ with a bit of a fight and found myself sat under a 7b+ that really tickled my fancy. Andy had mentioned some hidden beta in it but i couldn’t really see what he meant so opted to jump on and see how it went.

By the end of the session, when all energy had sapped from my body and it was obvious i wouldn’t complete it, i had managed it in two halves, one move away from linking it together. Aside from that, though, was the style of the crux move.

Without getting into the annoying move-by-move of the climb, the crux involved a tricky cross through that was hard to hold and a big move up with the right hand to salvation. It was more like two separate boulder problems stacked atop each other, the upper problem starting just before the crux. This was where Andy’s beta came in but i didn’t use it. Instead, i performed a move reminiscent of Johnny Dawes that flowed so beautifully, it stole the show of the whole session.

Hands primed on the holds, left foot pressing hard on it’s own, i rested my right foot on a crimp too high to provide power… yet. Left hip went up and i snatched the next hold with my left hand but as my body then untwisted, i simultaneously pulled and pushed with my right foot that now suddenly engaged. In one seamlessly smooth motion, i completed both crux moves in one, cruising through to the easier moves above.

I don’t know how it looked – an onlooker, a regular working the problem with me, seemed impressed – but it felt like pure bliss. It’s hard to describe and i really wish i’d caught it on camera as moves like that rarely happen, especially on harder climbs. It is something you’d see from Udo Neumann (above) or, as mentioned, Johnny Dawes and it is incredibly hard to perform or coach. The only reason it happened for me was purely subconscious.

I was back, primed and fighting fit. 7a+ flash, 7b retro flash, another 7b in a session, 7b flash and a 7b+ in two halves would’ve been a very pleasing session when i was fully fit! So imagine this after the abject failure of two weeks prior.

It just goes to show quite how important having the right mindset is on performance. Get it wrong and don’t get off the floor. I can feel my confidence and my belief come back almost immediately, and i’m back in the golden spot on the DCBA scale that has proven so important for me in the past.

The DCBA Scale the optimal mindset in order to maximise their own performance

Introducing Goal: 8a

They say train your weaknesses. But what if your weakness is training?

It’s been something i’ve always struggled with and the idea of “training your core” fills me with gloom and dread. I just can’t be bothered! The whole reason i got into climbing was to get out in the hills and the idea of staring at a wall dangling statically from my fingertips could not be further from that.

The problem comes when you want more. There came a point where just climbing wasn’t enough, i wanted to be operating right at the end of my ability level and there is only one way to make that happen: you have to train.

For me lately, there has been another driver, and one that comes up twice in year at New Years and during the Solstice: my Yearly Top Ten Average grade, calculated on 27crags. It may sound daft but for me, that single grade is a huge motivator. The problem i have at the moment is that it sits right below 7b. And i’m not in 7b shape: so i have to train.

But as i’ve mentioned, setting a training regime is really not my forte and while i could easily learn how to do it, sticking to it is entirely another matter. Will power is not something i possess in even small quantities and i am often found lacking any mental discipline for things like this.

So i asked myself: when i have managed to successfully train in the past? I’ve climbed 7c+ and i didn’t do that by simply going to the crag over and over, i have managed it before. What kept me focused for that?

The most obvious occasion that saw me even remotely training was preparing for Carnage. For any long-term readers (all three of you…) you’ll doubtless be aware of the effort i put in to tick this particular climb in Fontainebleau several years ago but for the uninitiated, and cutting a very long story short, it involved deadhangs on replica holds, a replica climb on a systems board and six months of preparation ready for my Spring attempt. And it worked.

Having such a definitive end goal gave me that undeniable focus. I had holds to copy, i had moves to practice, i had something tangible to work towards. And because of that, i’d find myself in the wall on a sunny day, training. But in the end it was worth it.

So there it was; the makings of a vague plan. Find a climb to work towards, and then work towards it. Simple really. But what climb…?

Again, my very top grade is 7c+ and i’ve wanted for a very long time to reach that next, momentous grade of 8a. There’s something very satisfying about the next number grade and it does have that tiny bit more cache. So why not?

I took a pen and a piece of paper and wrote in big letters at the top Goal: 8a. Then, i wrote down all the steps i could think of to get me from where i am now to achieving that goal. Turns out there weren’t that many either.

The first couple of steps are now complete, with huge thanks going to Tim Peck for helping me narrow down a long list of 11 to a shortlist of 2. Steps have been taken to move along on step 3 as well, although that ill discipline is rearing it’s head again. Still, this feels like progress. Now to see if i’m right.

Leaving Germany As the Germans Come Home

Our departure from Germany coincided almost exactly with the German’s premature exit from the World Cup. While they are not exactly known as the type of nation who would begin looting and rioting after such a disastrous campaign in their national sport, and we certainly saw nothing to think that may be the case while we were there, it did feel a good time to be leaving.

From where we left off in the last post, we got back to the campsite from our shopping spree, undecided on what to do for our afternoon. With our departure from Garmisch set for the following day, there was some debate on what we’d squeeze in before biting off a chunk of the long drive north. Em was keen to explore one of the gorges in the area but after a lot of talking, she kindly offered to skip it in favour of a few hours of climbing at a crag called Vils; just off the road on the way home. Apparently i owe her one day visiting a German gorge but i’m sure i’ll work on paying her back some point soon.

So our last afternoon was spent on the site, relaxing and packing to make the most out of our Tuesday. It was odd to be in such a stunning place and not trying to get out or get anything of note done but in truth, having a laid back approach to the afternoon was thoroughly enjoyable and made the following morning substantially nicer.

I wasn’t sure what to make of Vils from the guidebook – featuring as a lone crag in the Alpen en Bloc guides but being a section in my newly acquired Allgau book, and located in Austria, giving Em a new country to tick off. The walk in was certainly pleasant enough but it was pretty obvious this was more of a local’s crag, overgrown and mossy. Still, the main lines were clean enough and finding the lines was not particularly difficult.

Neither was the climbing if i’m honest and after a couple of token-gesture warm ups, i managed to flash Soul Rebel sds 7a – my third flash of that grade in recent weeks. Chuffed but suddenly lacking inspiration, Em suggested the 7a+ traverse to finish on the same line and after a little work and some thought as to the moves through the middle, the traverse quickly fell too.

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Back from #germany now and we actually managed a short period in #austria too, at a small crag in #alpenenbloc called #vils. Granted it wasn't exactly the type of place you could wax poetic about but it was another new #crag which is always good. I didn't manage much but found the three #climbs I often tell students to look for: one you get relatively easily, one you have to work for and one just outside your limit. This is the crux on the first of those: another 7a flash; the third in recent weeks at that grade. All three were surprisingly good! #alps #alpine #alpinebouldering #bouldering #bouldering_pictures_of_instagram #rockclimbing #grimpeur #klettern #escalade #escalada #climbing #climbing_photos_of_instagram #climbinglife #climbing_is_my_passion Photo credit to @emks93

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So now, my Top Ten Yearly Average reads four 7a climbs, three at 7a+ and three at 7b, averaging out at 7a+ quite nicely. It could’ve included another 7a+ too but in good form, i found a challenge problem that i was forced to leave behind. Hanuman just proved a touch too far. It has meant i now have to up my game, as ticking off more 7a won’t cut it and even four more 7a+ won’t affect the average grade. No, i now need to be ticking off 7b or higher but that is certainly no bad thing.

After the experience of Vils, we got back in the car, destined for, well, we didn’t know where. The car had been repacked and the plan was certainly to sleep in there somewhere nice and quiet for the night but as we approached Mannheim, and studied the map, we realised that the best route was to get off the famed autobahns and get on the a-roads. As we trundled cross country, i suggested finding a campsite instead and after a tiny bit of googling, we found a site on the edge of a town called Annweiler and right underneath a castle at Berg Trifels.

Our last night was pleasant, albeit ludicrously hot yet again (what did we expect once we were around a world-famous wine producing area?) and with time on our side, we walked from the site straight up the hill to check out the castle.

It was a slog but hidden in a beautiful forest, was quite cool and emerged to offer us a spectacular view and a quaint and oddly busy castle. I didn’t deliver a gorge but we did find a German castle.

There is no way you’d randomly search for the Berg Trifels, or come across this sleepy little venue but it was a nice little find and a testimony to this sort of travel. It’s something i’ve done since we travelled Europe in my childhood: taking the smaller routes and stopping when we find something cool. Granted the Berg Trifels may not make the UNESCO list (it might, i’ve no idea, haven’t checked) but coming across it certainly felt like a little win and gave our trip something different.

I’ve always loved this and love finding the smaller places – it is something that climbing trips offer. We would almost definitely not have gone to Odenwald if not for a guidebook i’d bought many years previously and yet it was a fantastic place and will certainly get a repeat visit. Sometimes the gems of the world are, perhaps, best when just stumbled across.

Regeneration

After our Font fun, it was back to work and nose to the grindstone. Almost literally, to be honest! Does anyone else find that the stress of coming back in to work and dealing with everything that happened while you were off almost negates the whole break in the first place? Nevertheless, it only lasted a week as the Thursday after we returned, Em headed to the Midlands for a gig and i was left with a few days to myself.

These days, that means one simple thing: climbing. From Thursday morning until she returned, there was only one period when i wasn’t either working, coaching or climbing and that was a rest period when i went to visit my parents!

My usual coaching session was shifted from Friday to Thursday, possibly due to it being Good Friday, and whenever it moves, the numbers are low. As such, i had a session working with my friend Rob on how to coach, rather than actually coaching myself – an unusual take on things and a good demonstration of my progression. I must admit, it’s quite nice to be doing well with it and being respected for it!

The downside: i brought Tess in for the last little while, the wall being very quiet, and somehow, unbeknownst to me, she managed to hurt her elbow and develop a limp. Not uncommon but certainly not ideal. She has now recovered but as with anyone, it was slow.

Friday, now free, was miraculously dry. Making the most of the lack of necessary doggy freedom and with time still being in short supply before the onset of darkness, the Cromlech boulders came calling and i decided to finally go and check out Sleep Deprivation 7b for the first time since i found out where it actually starts.

Turns out it’s still not much easier, was soggy and full of touristy rubbish underneath and didn’t float my boat. That was after i’d repeated the usual problems on the roadside face, and shown Alice from work some good ticks for herself. I think she surprised herself with some of her ascents and while i sat under the roof wondering what to do with myself, she scampered over some nice easy routes with Harry, her boyfriend. Eventually, i realised that actually, i’ve never actually given Leo’s Dyno 7a+ a real effort so why not now!

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#whilethecatsaway… New year (see blog post linked in bio) and that means evenings outdoors again! Well, to be honest, normally it might not but being as my better half and my daughter are away for a few days and the rock was actually dry, coupled with my dog Tess being injured, there were no reasons not to head to the #cromlechboulders straight from work. With @alice__kerr in tow, here demonstrating her technical abilities on #pocketwall before I managed to find enough excuses not to try Sleep Deprivation 7b before repeatedly trying to find the right feet for Leo's Dyno 7a+. Didn't get it but got close and got out. #psyched! #worldclasswales #northwales #northwalesbouldering #bouldering #rockclimbing #climbing #climbing_is_my_passion #climbing_pictures_of_instagram #grimpeur #escalade #8crags

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Leo’s Dyno is the eliminate version of the Edge Problem 7a; a trunk route that many a climber much stronger than i fail repeatedly on, but thanks to my small girly fingers, i am able to lap in trainers. The dyno was something i’d not particularly tried before but as darkness fell and my companions called it a day and left me to it, i felt myself drawing closer and closer. More daylight hours are needed to finish this off and soon, before i forget the correct footholds…

Saturday night was my rest night, seeing my parents and some visiting friends and generally allowing my skin and body to recover but Sunday morning arrived, with my trusty canine companion still being a limpy lump and the weather was almost perfect.

Being so far away, heading all the way from Caernarfon to the Ogwen valley was a risky business but that was the project i wanted to attack. In a recent post, i mentioned Gallt yr Ogof as a potential for some success and this was exactly the place that had piqued my interest. But that still left me with 25 miles to drive to get there.

It took me a few days to realise that this was what had put me in a foul mood to begin with but nevertheless, my day didn’t begin well. I called in at our house – still under a layer of plaster dust following some building work – to try in vain to find my bouldering guide, furthering pushing me into a deep grump. Then to top it all off, i drove over the pass on a Bank Holiday Sunday in typically slow traffic.

By the time i’d arrived in Capel, i was in a mood that could kill all on it’s own; the only bright side of my grump being an excuse to yell obscenities at unknowing innocent tourists. My favourite has to be “this isn’t a funeral, it’s a 60mph limit!!!”

I quickly pulled in to the Brenin and ran into stores to grab a replacement guide, but not before slipping under the canopy in front of a large group of clients and wrapping myself around the concrete stanchion in the corner.

All this began to clear as i pulled in to the campsite and unpacked my kit and by the time i made it to the crag, it had all been replaced by a sense of excitement. It had been a long time since i’d had conditions and opportunity this good and psyche levels were getting high.

With the limping dog in tow, i unpacked my pad under the warm up GyG Arete 6b+ and proceeded to struggle significantly more than that first time when i was stymied by a sheet of ice topping the entire boulder. Next, The Ramp 7a/+ fell much quicker, and was even repeated just to make sure i hadn’t dabbed the boulder behind

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When is it too cold to be good #bouldering conditions? When there's a sheet of ice over the entire top of the boulder… With an afternoon free after attending the inaugural adventure sports coaching conference at @plasybreninstaff I opted to head a few miles down the road in the #ogwenvalley to the #galltyrogof bloc. I'd always been put off by this before but now with fresh eyes and photo topos in the #northwalesboulderingguide the problems seemed immense and impressive. So I started to at least try and warm up, only to find the top out dodgy as sin! An entire sheet or verglas meant even if I had pulled over the top, it would've been rather treacherous to say the least. Nevertheless, another #beautifulday in #northwales! #worldclasswales #snowdonia #northwalesbouldering #rockclimbing #climbing #climbing_is_my_passion #climbing_pictures_of_instagram

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To it’s right, though, the one problem i had borne in mind turned out to be truly nails. Smackhead goes at 7b (i think, still don’t have my guidebook!) and is only a couple of hard moves, right at the start. I couldn’t pull off the floor; and even when i skipped the first move, the position was so stupidly hard to hold, i decided to wander around the corner and check out some of the other problems.

And here we find Regeneration 7b: the most apt title for not only the ascent but the timing too. The first period of climbing in the New Year – a typical time for nature to begin to regenerate. A marker for me to try to claw back some form and begin to improve again. A nod towards the lovely little reason that’s so hard to do.

Holding the first position was certainly the toughest part for me, the second move needing precision that took time to find but after that, it was dynamic moves on reasonable crimps and a precise foothold. It was like it was set just for me and those three moves seemedto regenerate my spirit just in time for the next challenging season ahead.

Baby en Bleau: Part Two

Day Three

After the previous day, lengthy walk ins were off the table; in fact, our first port of call was to head in to Font and go shopping. I’d been trying to find a healthy blend of climbing and non-climbing activities for us to do and wandering around the town seemed a good option.

Our walk didn’t actually take us into the town proper but we did have a very pleasant and sunny walk around the gardens of the chateau. I’d only discovered them thanks to my friends Ben and Charlotte in 2014 or 2015, i forget and they are somewhere anyone visiting Font should go and explore.

The afternoon was then spent at Cul de Chien. We met Gabe and Marie, took only the large Petzl pad, cut out a lot of the unneeded crap and basked in the sunshine on la plage sans la mer as i like to call it.

More low-grade climbs succumbed, all thoroughly enjoyable and one rather terrifying top out, and while i went and glanced at l’Autre Toit it was not a sensible place to head. Instead, we made the short walk over to 91.1 to try another couple of projects from trips gone by.

Flipper sds 7a+ had been agonisingly close back in 2016 when i’d tried it last, had people on it this time and was there for the ticking. A few attempts brought the beta back, a fired up American completed the stand and then told me to fuck off when i suggested the sit start – not as bad as it sounds, but enough for it to stick in my mind – and i was on it, ready and determined.

But then i ran out of time again. One last go means three last gos and on the second, i slipped, dropping the first couple of moves and felt it would go on the next attempt until i looked at Em, shuffling her feet and looking at the way home. Then i glanced at my left hand and the large flap of skin hanging off my palm and knew i’d have to leave another one.

Day Four

By this point, i was pretty demoralised about the whole climbing thing. The goal had been a couple of 7as or 7a+ and hopefully a 7b during the week. So far, i’d managed none. With one climbing day to go and my standards evidently lacking, i was not feeling very good about myself.

Time for a change of tactics. If you can’t climb new and hard, just go for new and while ticking off easy stuff at somewhere i’ve been many times doesn’t do much for me, exploring a new crag certainly seemed like a productive use of the day! At least if i didn’t climb anything, i’d have somewhere else in the bank for the next trip.

Buoyed by this new strategy, i looked through the guidebook and selected JA Martin. While eating pizza on the previous evening, i’d noticed a signpost to local crags and smiled as i read through, audibly saying “been there” to almost every one. Suddenly i was keen to visit the missing ones.

The obligatory hour-and-a-half wait at the vets to allow Tess to come home killed early enthusiasm but after we were finally done, we headed off to investigate somewhere new. Gabe, Marie and Lorenzo were having a rest day so we pretty much had the place to ourselves.

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Now that we're back, I'm facing the inevitable question: how was it? My answer so far has been that from a family perspective, it was great, showing my daughter around the forest, spending some relaxing time with @emks93 but from a#climbing point of view, it lacked. But last night I got chatting to a friend, @justwaltr who was in the #forest for the same week and it slowly dawned that actually, it was a fantastic experience. I've always dreamed of having a family who would come and join me in #Fontainebleau and if that means sacrificing some grades, it was totally worth it. #fontbouldering #bouldering #boulderingisbetter #bouldering_pictures_of_instagram #grimpeur #escalade #climbing_is_my_passion

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Straight away i cheered right up, thrilled by the look of the awesome roof Le Surplomb Pete-Couilles and it’s variations, ranging from 5- to 6b. All fell pretty quickly and were thoroughly enjoyable. Vent Couvert (racourci) and (droite) both 6a+ followed, were both enjoyed, before i wandered off looking for a good 7 to try.

I couldn’t find one within sensible walking distance so instead finished the climbing week on Signature 6a and Bille en Tete 6b, satisfied with the day’s efforts, if not entirely happy with the week’s climbing.

Day Five

With pads buried at the bottom of all of our other stuff, climbing on the last day was simply too much a trial. Frankly, it wasn’t worth it and after four days of dragging poor Em around the forest, having a day doing more conventional touristy activities was the least we could do.

We took a quick trip into Milly la Foret, getting a souvenir for Rosie from a fantastic little boutique that i frequent often – i had no idea they spoke English there and had been conversing with them in my poor French for years! Actually, i’m really grateful for them allowing me to try and for being patient and welcoming to me. It is called Derriere la Fenetre and is in the main square near the market stand. Please visit on your next trip, an ideal place for gifts for those back home.

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Last night we ate out; nothing fancy, we were at a fabulous #pizzeria in Arbonne la Forêt that only came to my attention a couple of years ago and is now a regular haunt. I dare say anyone who's been to the #forest often will have driven past, I'd encourage anyone to stop by, lovely people. As well as free Wi-Fi, they've also got this really cool #signpost with a host of local crags (and @rockcityskatepark for reasons I forget) and I smiled as I realised I'd been to almost all of them. Almost all. That needs remedying so today we're off to JA Martin. Really psyched now! #Fontainebleau #font #fontbouldering #bouldering #boulderingisbetter #rockclimbing #climbing #climbing_is_my_passion #psyched

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After grabbing some food, we headed back to Fontainebleau, said a quick hello and goodbye to Gabe and Marie, wandered the town searching for a sticker and a pin (the latter of which we didn’t find so if anyone can send me one, i’ll be phenomenally grateful) and eventually headed off for Barbizon and a quick walk before our long drive home.

Barbizon is a lovely, tranquil village, steeped in art history and worth an afternoon of anyone’s time. It is also very close to some lovely walking which Tess was doubtless very glad of before being cooped up for such a long time.

After a pleasant walk finished under a mild shower, we bid farewell to the Forest, stopped briefly at the large Carrefour for supplies and then began our long journey home.

The Inevitable Question

Once home and back at work, i faced the inevitable question: how was Font? With a paltry list of ascents, i must admit, i was a tiny bit despondent. How was Font? In climbing terms, pretty shitty to be honest.

7a is what i regard as my bread and butter these days, rightly or wrongly. Any less than that and to be honest, it doesn’t even register. Whether i should be like that or not, that’s just how i think, given the standards i’ve achieved and currently operate at.

BUT, and this is the crucial thing, as a family trip, time away from home, time spent with the love of my life and my absolutely wonderful daughter, the perfect opportunity for Tess to get some time, experiences and stories, it was brilliant. I didn’t get any hard climbing done but i did get climbing done and, as i’ve said several times now, with an infant in tow, that’s an achievement in itself.

Em also reliably told me she really enjoyed being in the forest and is keen to go back. At first, after getting home, i was a bit head down, fed up, desperate to go again and perform as i know i can. Then i got chatting to Jam; the same friend who had been there when we were but who’s path we hadn’t managed to cross. We got chatting about things, about how it had gone and over the course of the 45 minute conversation, i realised that grades aren’t everything. That indeed the whole week was one big win.